


what i always longed for

by sapphicirene



Category: Dreamcatcher (Korea Band)
Genre: Angst, F/F, FWBs, Short, lapslock bc this was written in my phones notes fhdjdhd, more introspective than anything
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-26
Updated: 2020-12-26
Packaged: 2021-03-11 01:21:01
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 673
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28343067
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sapphicirene/pseuds/sapphicirene
Summary: why is being with minji so easy when everything else is so, so complicated?
Relationships: Kim Bora | SuA/Kim Minji | JiU
Comments: 3
Kudos: 43





	what i always longed for

**Author's Note:**

> holy lord someone asked for angst in my cc a while ago and this is literally all i can manage. also for some reason i swear to god i woke up in the middle of the night and wrote this so i hope it’s coherent
> 
> oh also title is lyrics from same ol mistakes but rihanna’s version yes that is important to me to mention

“let me take care of you.” 

as with all of minji’s words, there’s much more meaning that sits behind the words that spill so easily from her lips. 

her lips graze over bora’s jaw gently, like she was afraid to break her. 

(minji has anyway, which makes it sting even more.)

her lips blaze against her skin like magma, hot and aching and completely enveloping. 

“why don’t you let me do this anymore?” minji says, teeth rolling over boras earlobe. 

bora doesn’t have an answer. not when minji is all she wants but all that makes it worse. 

her hand rests on bora’s inner thigh, sliding up under fabric ever so slightly until bora jerks away. 

“minji-”

“what happened?”

minji finally pulls away. bora looks at her, and the reflection from the tv makes her eyes look like shattered glass. 

what happened? as if she had no clue. as if she didn’t hold bora every time she cried, didn’t make her flush with pleasure in the dead of night, didn’t pay extra attention to her when she knew she needed it. 

what happened? what didn’t. 

bora still doesn’t have an answer. she stares ahead at the tv and pretends she doesn’t see the way minji visibly shakes with her tears. 

“bora, _please_.”

bora loves her with all of her being. minji knows it too. it’s not like she can ever hide her feelings, not when they’re so strong and so terribly hidden behind the facade of friendship. behind simple appreciation. it’s always been more than that. 

the way they had gotten here was too easy. it was way too simple to kiss her, like nothing else in the world mattered when their lips were connected and bora so easily mapped out the entirety of minji’s body like she was a world renowned cartographer. 

everything came second nature with her. and that’s why it hurt. with minji, it was far too easy not to think. to let her consciousness slip below her radar just as her fingers slipped below the waistband of-

“bora i can’t do this anymore.” 

bora finally looks at her. it’s all she’s wanted her to say, and god did it take forever. bora could never say it to her herself. could never deny minji anything. 

“is that true?”

(they both know it’s not. it doesn’t matter.)

“why don’t you want me anymore?”

bora wants her more than than words can express, even when words fail her. minji is her everything. she’s fallen so hard and so quick and no matter how badly she wants minji to pick her back up and piece together her broken remnants, she can’t. 

not when they have a job to do. not when their natural gravitation towards each other is getting in the way of their dreams— and their friends’. 

bora cant let minji break her over and over again, because as much as she wants to, one day minji won’t be there to pick her back up again, and bora cant wrap her mind around that— that one day they’ll be distant and far away and this will all have been a memory. 

she could tell minji how she feels, but that would only make things worse. minji’s touch leaves her high and sick on lust and so incredibly incoherent and she can’t even imagine indulging that beyond the guise of friendship. 

minji’s love and attention is all-consuming and bora knows it and it’s all she wants and can’t have. 

“i don’t know.” is what she finally replies, after the silence cuts through her like daggers and knives and everything sharp and painful that reminds her of what minji isn’t. minji is soft and warm and she IS love and bora cant bring herself to be selfish and ask for that love to be hers. 

minji lets out a shaky sob, standing from the couch. 

there’s so much that goes unsaid. maybe minji knows. maybe she doesn’t. 

all bora knows is that was the last time it happened and god does she regret it. 

**Author's Note:**

> as always thanks for reading and leaving kudos :p u guys are always so kind and it makes me really love sharing my work.. so thank you


End file.
